NoSSN - THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY OF PATRIOT MYTHOLOGY, FEATURING PHILLIPS' SURE

THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY OF PATRIOT MYTHOLOGY, FEATURING PHILLIPS' SURE
CURE 'SILVER BULLET' SNAKE OIL REMEDY AND TAX FREEDOM ELIXIR
September 4, 2002

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are now available on-line. Each 'taxpayer deprogramming tool' comes with

this guarantee: Any owner of a brain that fails to expand after prolonged

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Today's A.L.E.R.T. (America Law Education Rights & Taxation):

THE UNIFIED FIELD THEORY OF PATRIOT MYTHOLOGY, FEATURING PHILLIPS' SURE

CURE 'SILVER BULLET' SNAKE OIL REMEDY AND TAX FREEDOM ELIXIR

Albert Einstein dreamed of eventually unifying all of nature's subatomic

forces -- the gravitational, the magnetic, the weak and the strong nuclear

interactions -- into a single 'unified field theory' that would explain

all naturally observable physical phenomena. Although he rejected many

aspects of quantum theory, stating that 'God does not place dice with the

Universe,' Mr. E died will still attempting to achieve that objective.

For many years now, those of us who have been around the block a few times

in the 'freedom movement' have struggled (as yet in vain) to account for

the phenomenon I have since come to call 'Patriot Mythology' -- that wacky

montage of wild jurisdictional theories and outright goofy 'strategies'

afloat in the Constitutional Revival Movement, especially on the Internet.

It's truly difficult to account for why so many ostensibly sane

individuals -- including so many well-educated professionals -- would

willingly adopt so many unsubstantiated beliefs in the face of clearly

written knowledge to the contrary.

Each Wild Theory appears designed to counter or thwart some particular

aspect of abuse from a federal government now clearly metastasizing into

every possible area of constitutionally forbidden jurisdiction, like a

killer tumor run amok.

As I approach my twilight years (I'll soon be celebrating yet another

anniversary of my 39th birthday), I have observed a few things about the

species within which I am zoologically classified, and that is that

mankind is inclined to expend the least possible effort to achieve a

desired result, including the acquisition of knowledge.

If it weren't for Cliff's Notes, many would not have made it through

college. Likewise, Readers Digest continues in popularity. After all, why

expend the effort to read the original when you can read the digest in

1/0th the time? Call it Conservation of Mental Energy if you will.

Many freedom-loving Americans today are understandably frustrated to the

point of proto-rebellion and are Desperately Seeking Answers. Yet they

have absolutely no foundation under them with respect to the origin and

nature of government, or to the founding of our own government and its

implications for human liberty.

As victims of a multi-year period of incarceration in a Dewey Educational

Camp, they tend towards what I call 'bumper sticker' thinking: i.e., if it

can be summarized on a bumper sticker, they can understand it.

As a result, when the IRS 'gets in the face' of a wanna-be-tax-free

proto-patriot like Ima Newbie -- perhaps because he impulsively stopped

filing returns and now seeks relief from the clutches of the IRS B.O.R.G.

(Bionic Omnipresent Revenue Gatherers) -- Mr. Newbie gets on the Net and,

like a pinball bouncing off bumpers, skips from web site to web site in

search of instant 'tax freedom'.

When a REALLY IMPRESSIVE WEB SITE is located that promises 'join our

organization and you'll remain 100% IRS proof, guaranteed,' Newbie bonds

to his New Guru as does a newborn to its mother.

Two years ago Newbie was a nonresident alien and sent in a fat pack of

documents 'establishing' that position. Last year, he sent in a

'statement' in lieu of a return. This year, he plans to

'expatriate/repatriate'. Perhaps next year he'll discover an even MORE

potent organization -- one that not only promises that its members will

forever remain '100% IRS proof, guaranteed', but that 'none of our members

has ever gone to jail'.

As the years go by, Newbie adds even more Wild Theories to his growing

collection (he'd be safer if he'd stuck with Beanie Babies). He has now

accumulated dozens of affidavits, statements, codicils, agreements,

remonstrances and 'attack paks' ... and he's sent every one of them to the

IRS. Trust me, the IRS does not lose this stuff.

Unbeknownst to our intrepid wayfarer, every one of his cherished

'bullet-proof' organizations is under ongoing IRS criminal investigation,

some for many years already. All mail (both snail- and e- alike) between

Guru and his adherents is under 'mail cover', and Guru's web site is being

monitored 24/7. The IRS is patiently waiting for a few thousand more moths

like Newbie to be attracted to Guru's light bulb ... then they will simply

flick off the light. Click.

The result: one of Newbie's favorite organizations (current or recent) is

predictably raided (they'll get to the others soon). Newbie's name is on

ALL THE HARD DRIVES. Indictments against Guru-Du-Jour and his apostles are

soon handed down.

Shortly thereafter, Newbie receives a letter in the mail from the IRS,

along with a photocopy of the indictment. Sure enough, he recognizes the

names of Guru and his retinue. The B.O.R.G.'s letter states something to

the effect, 'Dear Taxpayer, File all those returns we've been waiting for

all these years or become a party to the present criminal action.

Sincerely, Shirley D. Predator'

After Newbie's heart resumes beating and the ringing in his ears has

pretty much subsided, he races to the nearest H&R Block to fulfill the

'request'. Voila! The IRS/DOJ has just succeeded in executing a highly

effective mass 'compliance' program, all for the mere cost of a

first-class postage stamp.

Since the above irrational activity appears immune to being quelled -- and

in honor of Mr. Einstein who once stated that the income tax was the most

difficult of all subjects (it's not) -- I have decided to unify all of the

Wild Theories afloat in the 'movement' into a single Unified Field Theory

of Patriot Mythology, thereby saving would-be tax freedom web browsers

thousands of hours of 'research'.

Yes, folks, I have developed the ultimate 'quick fix' strategy, one

certain to accomplish the instant freedom that adherents to Wild Theories

seek. Step right up! I present to you here for your use and enjoyment:

PHILLIPS' SURE CURE 'SILVER BULLET' SNAKE OIL REMEDY AND TAX FREEDOM

ELIXIR (... just add belief and stir)

First, whip up a tasty batch of fish and chips (we are, after all, still

Brits), then head outdoors and take the mailbox off your house. That way,

you can't accidentally receive ANY mail, let alone mail bearing a ZIP code

(which might accidentally place you under some sort of federal

jurisdiction and would certainly cause you to owe the income tax).

If you're not ready to take such a drastic step, simply reduce the number

of digits in your ZIP code, thereby reducing (but not quite yet

eliminating) both your jurisdictional entanglements AND your 'tax bracket'

(you won't find this written down anywhere because it's not true -- that's

the way it is with all Wild Theories -- but don't worry, just do it anyway

and you'll be OK).

Now, go down to the local court house and file a restraining order against

your 'Strawman' so 'HE' can't impersonate you (and maybe one day steal

your benefits!), taking care to spell 'HIS' name in all uppercase letters

('ALL CAPS') so as to distinguish the jurisdictionally fictitious 'HIM'

from the real 'You'. Are you still with me here?

Also, when printing your Real Name, be sure to use the required amount of

symbolic Patriot Punctuation. The latest freedom fighting format -- in

addition to the de rigeur use of the colon, the semi-colon and the dash --

is to place a left-facing bracket before your name and a right-facing

bracket after. This will ensure that federal jurisdiction is kept on the

OUTSIDE while you remain INSIDE the 'Sovereign Zone'. Plus, it's handy to

alert your fellow correspondents that 'I'm one of you.'.

IMPORTANT: The ZIP code is to be placed in inward-facing brackets,

followed by a backslash and the letters 'TDC', which stands for 'Threat,

Duress and Coercion' as follows: [01234]/TDC. Also, the name of your town

is to be indicated as 'near', and other confusing language is to be added

as well. A properly formatted address would look like this (similar to the

type of secret message remembered by those over 50 who once owned a Rootie

Kazootie Decoder Ring):

]Freeman: Ima-Bigtime[

of the number 123 of the street named Elm

near: Libertyville

of the judicial township of West Overshoe

Federal Zone [01234]/TDC

This should cause your postal mail carrier (who could care less about your

'secret coding'; who wants to empty his bag and head home for a brew) to

buckle with laughter. It will also cause your mail to be delayed a few

days.

While you're at it, you'd better copyright your Social Security Number too

so no one, including your Strawman, a bank or an employer can use it

without committing copyright infringement. You want to cover all bases

here, right?

Next, take your lawful Title 5 American flag to a local seamstress and

have her attach Velcro all the way around so that a gold fringe can then

be stuck on and easily ripped right back off. Take the attractively

decorated flag home and videotape yourself in your front yard (wearing

your 'Death To The New World Order' T-shirt) saluting the

sovereignty-robbing flag. Then ... rip off the gold fringe for the camera,

thereby restoring the Constitution within the immediate vicinity. Breathe

deeply for the camera as your lungs fill with freedom. Your home and yard

are now safely outside of federal jurisdiction, immune to IRS seizure or

visitation by an Elian Gonzalez-style 'Welcome Wagon'. Go back inside,

have a beer, and read 'Cliff's Notes On The Constitution'.

Now take a pair of scissors and carefully cut your Birth Certificate,

Marriage License, Driver's License and Social Security Card carefully in

half. Mail the pieces back to the respective issuing agencies with a cover

letter declaring that you are severing your 'adhesion contracts'. Avoid

sealing the flap on the envelope, thereby leaving your entire submission

package 100% adhesion free. You are now a tax-free sovereign.

But just to be sure (you can never utilize ENOUGH wild theories), file

Form 1040ET 'Declaration of Alien Nonresident Status' with the IRS (you

can identify this form by the little flying saucer in the upper right hand

corner where the OMB number usually is). The IRS will be glad to know that

you do not reside in the Federal Zone (or anywhere near them, for that

matter).

Be sure to sign the form under duress because your tax guru (who is still

awaiting extradition from Belize) told you this was a 'sure fire

strategy', so you know it must be true. Your best friend's previous tax

guru told her to file 'zero returns', and the guru before that (or was it

three gurus ago?) told her to use the UCC to 'dishonor their

presentments.' She believed them all because they have spiffy web sites.

Next, convey your property into 'Corporation Sole' so that the IRS, SEC,

ATF, FDA and other alphabet-soup agencies cannot seize it. Make yourself

the sole trustee, yet claim that the property is no longer yours, that you

just allow yourself to live there (rent free, of course), but that you

don't really own it, so you as the trustee for yourself are not really an

'alter ego', see? There are web sites where you can pay THOUSANDS for this

type of 'asset protection'. Be sure to send copies of the trust indenture

to the above agencies so they can pin it to the employee cafeteria

bulletin board for a good chuckle all around.

Now file a Form 1041 'Estate & Trust Return' with the IRS, claiming a

refund of all Social Security taxes you ever paid under the premise that

an involuntary trust was created when you were assigned an SSN; that you

were made the trustee thereof (but no one ever told you that the trust

existed); that the trust was defective due to an indenture; that your

letter is providing that indenture, and; that you are now resigning as

trustee, revoking the trust and demanding a refund in full. WOW. That will

be sure to impress them. But do not expect a big check anytime soon. You

took the mailbox off your house, remember?

Finally, write a letter to the State Department declaring that you are

expatriating yourself from the Federal Zone, and repatriating yourself

into the Sovereign Zone (just adjacent to the Twilight Zone). Tell them

that you are no longer a citizen (upper or lower case 'c' are OK here),

that you have revoked your 'Strawman', are no longer paying taxes, do not

receive domestic mail, do not reside in their jurisdiction, and are not

under their laws. Trust me, they will UNDERSTAND.

Now you're all set. Just kick back, relax, have a beer ... and wait for

them to come pick you up. Or, you could order the two-cassette series

'False Arguments In The Patriot Movement', also available at

http://www.freedomcenterusa.com

###

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#15. GORDON PHILLIPS

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Speaker · Tireless Truth Addict · Woodstock Survivor · World Class Guru

BRIEF BIO

· 1946-1991: Constitutionally Oblivious ('The Truman Show')

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SERVICES AVAILABLE

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Thinking Clarified · Government Myths Exposed · Living Standards Unchained

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Unmasked · Paradigms Shattered · Privacy Restored · Rights Renewed ·

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