|Lyrics by John Lister|
Jane was watching her T.V., at home with nothing to do
Avoiding the company of people, a pet, my yes that would do
She hopped into her Hyundai, driving to the nearest pet shop
Should she get a Chihuahua, or a poodle with hair neatly cropped
The clerks name was Fayeed, his breath smelled of stale cigarettes
Unmannered and unshaven, he also had one wooden leg.
He said, "I've got something to show you, out here in the back.''
" I swear I woke up with it this morning, I can tell it's something you lack."
It was a woodpecker, woodpecker; freed from its cage
She saw his wood pecker, wood pecker; upright and enraged
I want that woodpecker woodpecker, I heard her cry
"You like my woodpecker woodpecker come on give it a try"
A fish is not very loving and reptiles appear to be cold
Dogs and cats are lovely, but a woodpecker drills you a hole
The sounds that you will be hearing, from a woodpecker tapping real quick
Will never be heard from a husband, or anyone named Harry or Dick
It was a woodpecker, woodpecker;look at him go
Oh yes, his woodpecker, woodpecker, she'll never let go
I want that woodpecker, woodpecker; I heard her moan
Oh my pet woodpecker, woodpecker; Can I take him home