Title:Three Blind Dates

Lyrics by John Lister

My best friend set me up on my very first blind date and he knew I didn't want to go
I walked up to her down rapped upon it three times as she pryed it open very slow
She was wearing nothing but some TV rabbit ears
I was thinking to myself that this seemed rather queer
I spun around quickly to run down her back stairs when she hit me in the noggin with an open beer

Please understand this is not what I planned
I need to leave cuz this blind date ain't grand

A good friend set me upon a double date, stuck inside his car nowhere to flee
Every beer I drank, the girl got uglier, singing Janis Joplin horribly
Naver made an insult I kept my mouth shut tight, I sat there staring into space
It was not that easy being silently polite when i couldn't look into her face

Please understand this is not what I planned
I told my friend that his blind dates were banned

My very last blind date, many years ago met me at her door with a nasty cold
She didn't stand me up but left me waiting there outside in at least ten inches of wet snow
Deep within the blizzard an alarm inside my head went off and I could not ignore
You couldn't see my footprints that I left long ago when i was still standing at her door

Please understand this is not what I planned
I'd rather be alone than be holding your hand

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